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good morning it's
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Saturday 9:00 in the
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morning it is a beautiful day it is like
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70 outside maybe 72 it's a little bit
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of there a nice wind
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blowing it's Pleasant I even got Bailey
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out here he's just chilling over
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there I'm just reflecting this morning
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on how much I've changed cuz I'm sitting
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out here perfectly comfortable despite
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there being people around quite a lot
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doing their own thing we're very close
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to a lake and it's quite pretty but I
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haven't really gone to check it out yet
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I don't know if I'll if I will I don't
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know if I have time I'll see other Lakes
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so I've seen plenty of lakes on my
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journey so far and I love
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them but my focus is somewhere else
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right
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now so
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I want to share something
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because I think it's
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important but it will probably be
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misunderstood by most of
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you and that's
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okay if
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you allow yourself to really listen to
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my words reflect on those words you'll
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understand me
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cuz I'm not that
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complicated so I woke up with
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fear not a paralyzing kind of fear
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just it was a a fear that was
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acknowledging what I'm about to
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do because while I had an idea of what I
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was doing I didn't truly know until last
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night that's when it became clear
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because I just I learned a lot more
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about this environment and it was even
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greater than I had
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anticipated
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and I know that I'm genuinely
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challenging myself I'm doing this with
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intention I'm going to be facing some
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very
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difficult
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unpredictable weather my environment is
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going to test me
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it's going to test my equipment it's
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going to test my
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RV and I cannot know with any kind of
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certainty what the outcomes of that will
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be it's simply not possible to
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know and so I had a little bit of fear
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this morning I
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think I think I was probably processing
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it um unconsciously while I was sleeping
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just woke up with it I acknowledged it
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and I explored
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it that is the difference between me and
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people who are
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fragmented I don't ignore my fear I
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don't run from it I don't use it as as
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an excuse
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to root myself in that fear and then and
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then and then what what's the purpose of
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that every emotion you have is teaching
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you something it is wisdom
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you have to sit with your feelings you
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have to acknowledge them you have to
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explore them
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deeply I'm not experiencing fear right
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now cuz I understand
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it and it will come back it abs and
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flows that's
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life I I know what I'm about to do
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I know that it will transform
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me I cannot know how I cannot even know
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a certainty that I'll survive this that
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is a fact that is why there's some
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fear and it's never a reason to
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stop I processed my
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feelings then I got to work I've been
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organizing my storage phas outside
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they're quite nice um now that I have
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the slide in all the time that space up
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there is
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just above the
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slide is a game Cher for
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me the stuff I can put up there the
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bulky things the things that are just
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always in the way no longer a
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frustration for me they've got a place
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now I've been struggling with that for
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six months I didn't struggle with that
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for six months because
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of some superficial reason like why
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couldn't I just get organized
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because my space was not adapted to how
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I organize
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things I had to adapt my environment to
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me and there is a deep Pride joy and
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pleasure in what I have done
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you and I were embarking
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on a new journey
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together in this new space that I
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inhabit that I exist in where I am fully
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integrated you're going to see a new
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side of
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me and it's not going to shy away from
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the hard truths I'm sorry but you need
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to hear
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them that that is where growth
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happens discomfort is where growth
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happens and that is why I'm going to the
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Pacific Northwest for the
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winter and not to Florida