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Hello
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YouTube. So, I'm just sitting here in my
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I guess it's called a
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lagoon. Thought those were only in the
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south, but I think this is a
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lagoon. I'll show you. Just a nothing
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special. Well, it's special actually. I
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don't know why I said that. It's nice.
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Very
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peaceful. It's not the ocean. That's why
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I said that. But I'm going to go to the
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ocean in a minute. I'm going to walk
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down there. It's about maybe a mile from
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here and then up a big dune and then
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there's the
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ocean. I wanted to talk to you about
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some some things I did
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today. So,
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first I put all my videos behind my
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subscription
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service. I didn't do this to punish
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anyone. I didn't do this because I don't
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want you witnessing my life or
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participating in
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it. I did it because I feel like nobody
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is actually witnessing or participating
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in my life. And the only way I know how
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to correct that is to put it behind a
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subscription
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service or people make a conscious
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choice to do those
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things. Right now, it's not possible to
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sign up for it because uh YouTube needs
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to fix a problem with my account. I had
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to make a new AdSense account and I'm
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just waiting for it to be
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approved. So, it's not even possible to
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see them right now. But, I felt like I
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needed to do
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this cuz I'm sharing very vulnerable
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content and it's not being received
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well. I turn comments off because I get
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a lot of negativity from
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people and I get very little positivity.
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and even less true
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witnessing. And it's
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because well for a lot of reasons
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and I felt I had to do that to protect
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my
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space. But I want you to
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know that it will be available soon that
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I hope some of you sign up.
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And even if you don't though, at some
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point I'm going to get my videos onto my
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homepage, my own website. They'll be
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available there without being behind a
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payw wall. So there will be a way for me
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to share my life with people who just
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can't afford to pay for the sub
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subscription
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service. But this is something I need to
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do for now.
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The next thing I want to tell you is
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that I made some positive steps
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today. So I started off by looking for
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work
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onguru.com and I discovered that
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platform is basically dead which is
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really disappointing and kind of
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shocking for me cuz I had worked on that
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platform in the past and built quite a
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profile. I had over 40 reviews on there.
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I'd made over $70,000 on that platform
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before I started working with clients
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long
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term. And so it would have been the
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easiest way for me to find work if there
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was a job there that I was qualified for
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and I applied for it. The clients would
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be able to see my previous history and I
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would have been more likely to receive
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that job. But there's nothing on there.
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Did applied for two jobs on there that
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are just very short-term work. I was
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hoping to hear from one of them today
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and I didn't. But, you know, I'm
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hopeful because of that. I had to pivot
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to Upwork and I don't have history
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there. I never used that platform. It
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wasn't around back when I was a
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freelancer. And so, that makes it much
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more difficult for me to find
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work. But I with the help of artificial
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intelligence cuz I use it for
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everything. I built a really good
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profile and I applied for four different
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jobs.
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all of which would be great fits for me.
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So, I'm hopeful. I'm just waiting to
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hear if anyone responds to that. I'll
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keep looking every
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day. My life is in in a big transition
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right now. My birthday is Friday, one
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year since I moved into my
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RV. But the next day, I have nowhere to
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go. I have no money. I have $50 that my
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parents sent
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me and I need to use that to put fuel in
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my Jeep because that's literally how I
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generate power from my RV and my
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laptop. And I'm at less than half a tank
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now. I need to drive an hour from here
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to go to a Forest Service field office
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to apply for volunteer opportunity. So
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that that would be a possible way for me
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to have
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um a stable place to stay and power and
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water. And I can also ask them where the
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free camping spots are. So maybe I could
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go boondocking in the
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forest somewhere
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safe. But I'm not even sure if I can
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afford to do that because there's no
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fuel in my RV.
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I'm really struggling and I'm trying so
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hard. If you are a viewer of mine, if
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you've been following my life for any
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length of time, but
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especially over the course of the past
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year, a full
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year, I need you right
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now. I know things are tough for all of
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us. I am very scared and I don't know.
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I don't know if I will make it without
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your
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help. I'm doing everything I can. I'm
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asking you to you not asking you to save
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me. I'm asking you to give me a helping
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hand so I can save
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myself. Thanks for listening.