Quitting Nicotine After 32 Years

Monday evening, 10:30 PM. rswfire is outside his RV in coastal environment where ocean can be heard nearby. Light rain/dripping from trees. Beginning of rainy season. This is his first day off (weekend is Monday-Tuesday).

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November 4, 2025

7:18

Author

rswfire

Status

PUBLISHED

Type

TRANSMISSION (CAPTURE)

Temperature

0.00

Density

0.00

[0:00] Hi.

[0:02] So, it's 10:30 here.

[0:05] Monday. Just hold on a second here.

[0:09] Go outside for a minute. It's kind of

[0:11] dark in here. I often do this where

[0:16] Oh, I just got some shoes here.

[0:20] Oh, I figured this out.

[0:23] Here we go.

[0:26] Okay,

[0:28] out the door we go.

[0:33] Oh, it is so nice out tonight.

[0:39] You can hear the ocean not far from

[0:42] here. It's technically raining. I can

[0:44] hear. It's probably just dripping out of

[0:45] the trees, though. It's not raining on

[0:47] me right now. But the rainy season's

[0:50] here. We should get rain for half the

[0:53] week.

[0:55] Um,

[0:59] yeah, it's pretty pleasant out here.

[1:03] So, I think I said it's Monday, right?

[1:06] Which is my first day off. So, my

[1:08] weekend is Mondays and Tuesdays.

[1:11] So, today was one of my days off. I did

[1:14] some work. I got um

[1:18] finished the first part of what I wanted

[1:20] to do with autonomy. I put that online.

[1:22] and it's on um it's on GitHub now.

[1:25] There's not much to see. It's just the

[1:26] skeleton, but it's something you can

[1:29] deploy. And um from there, there's a

[1:32] whole bunch of things I'll do.

[1:35] I think I'm going to focus on the back

[1:37] end first.

[1:39] Um, before I start building a front end,

[1:41] I think I'm going to just um

[1:44] share the tools I've created for

[1:47] um

[1:50] using AI to process

[1:53] transcripts.

[1:56] I'm not explaining this very well. I

[1:58] guess that's not where my mind is. It's

[2:00] just hard stuff for me to explain to

[2:01] people. I've never been very good at

[2:03] that, to be honest with you. Um, it's

[2:05] just

[2:07] the the depth and complexity of what I'm

[2:09] building makes it difficult for me to

[2:13] narrow it down to

[2:16] one frame or scope because that's really

[2:19] what I'm doing because I'm sharing it

[2:21] with people on YouTube and one of the

[2:24] things that it can do is be used as a

[2:26] video archive for YouTubers because

[2:28] that's one of the ways I use it. But

[2:29] that's not all it is. It's so many more

[2:31] things than this.

[2:33] Um, but that's one of the ways I can

[2:35] market it and um

[2:39] maybe fuel its growth so that I can make

[2:41] some revenue so that I can do the things

[2:43] I really want to do with it.

[2:46] So, you know, that's basically what I'm

[2:48] doing.

[2:51] But did that earlier and then I just

[2:53] spent quite a while just chatting with

[2:55] artificial intelligence because there

[2:58] was a thing that was coming and I knew

[3:00] it was coming and that was

[3:02] um my vapes were running out and I

[3:06] wasn't going to buy more. I have no

[3:08] money to buy more first of all but I

[3:12] could have um but I made other choices

[3:15] and

[3:18] first time I've ever done that. I always

[3:19] prioritize nicotine all my life. So, so

[3:23] I was proud of that, but I knew where

[3:26] that was leading me and

[3:31] I quit. I threw all my stuff away.

[3:37] So,

[3:39] you know, I'm feeling all the feelings

[3:41] right now. That's why I got on the

[3:43] camera.

[3:45] Um,

[3:48] part of me is very [ __ ] excited to be

[3:50] honest with you.

[3:52] 32 years

[3:57] pattern completion.

[4:02] I tried everything over those 32 years.

[4:11] I was always pattern matching.

[4:17] the hold had on me and how you break it.

[4:21] So I built and structured my life in

[4:24] such a way that I would be able to I

[4:27] really believe this.

[4:31] I think that

[4:34] nicotine has

[4:36] like a dampener.

[4:41] It's

[4:46] it's armor.

[4:49] But

[4:51] that armor becomes something else. It

[4:54] becomes

[4:55] a tether, a chain.

[5:00] Stops being armor.

[5:07] truly believe it's probably one of the

[5:09] hardest things on earth

[5:11] to overcome.

[5:14] I quit tramodol. I quit linazipam.

[5:18] Both of those on my journey.

[5:21] But this this came with me everywhere.

[5:34] This time feels different.

[5:41] I'm guarded. I

[5:44] I'm not trying to summon willpower. I'm

[5:46] not trying to um

[5:50] put on a brave face. Not trying to do

[5:52] those things.

[5:55] I know what I'm facing is

[6:04] deeply entrenched.

[6:10] So,

[6:13] I have to be vigilant.

[6:16] You have to want this.

[6:18] I have to be vigilant.

[6:21] No judgment. You should never judge

[6:23] yourself. Um truly believe this. I've

[6:26] been telling you guys this for two

[6:27] years.

[6:35] So yeah,

[6:38] might just be an ex vaper, exmoker. And

[6:41] I smoked for most of my life, then

[6:42] switch to vaping, ex nicotine.

[6:48] These next few days are going to be

[6:49] hard. I'll document them because that's

[6:51] just part of my nature.

[6:54] and

[6:56] together I'll be able to see what AI has

[6:58] to say about it because as soon as I

[6:59] make a video that's the first thing that

[7:01] happens autonomy kicks in and produces

[7:05] all kinds of data for me

[7:08] fun interesting

[7:11] rewarding

[7:14] found

[7:16] so many Thanks.

Energetic Signature resolute vigilance

Field State threshold crossing

Orientation toward pattern completion

Summary

rswfire records from outside his RV on a Monday evening, his first day off. He describes completing initial work on his autonomy project and deploying it to GitHub. The main focus shifts to his decision to quit nicotine after 32 years of use, having thrown away all his vaping equipment earlier that day. He reflects on nicotine as both armor and chain, acknowledging the difficulty ahead while expressing cautious optimism about this attempt feeling different from previous ones. He mentions plans to document the withdrawal process and use his AI tools to analyze the experience.

Signal Analysis

Substrate

This transmission holds the architecture of deliberate pattern dissolution - the conscious dismantling of a 32-year entrenchment system. The field is positioned at a completion threshold where armor-become-tether is being released through structural vigilance rather than willpower, with documentation infrastructure automatically engaging to process the transition.

Dominant Language

pattern completion 32 years armor becomes tether vigilant structural deeply entrenched autonomy kicks in

Symbolic Elements

armor tether chain threshold ocean rain darkness

Ontological States

•
transitional
•
vigilant
•
sovereign
•
embedded

Subsystems

•
somatic
•
cognitive
•
infrastructural
•
emotional

Signal Reflection

No reflections available

Reflections provide narrative insights into signals

Transmission Details

Source Type

local

Video Quality

1920 × 1080 @ 23fps

Duration

7:18

Bitrate

3,750 kbps

Codec

avc1.640028