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Showing 1 - 24 of 323 signals
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21:34

Managing RV Leveling and Withdrawal Symptoms

rswfire records a morning transmission from his RV at 10:30 AM on Saturday, dealing with withdrawal symptoms from prescription pills while managing practical challenges. He describes physical sensations like disrupted gravity and temperature fluctuations. The RV is significantly unlevel, causing rocking in the wind and making daily activities difficult. His cats Bailey and Oliver demand constant attention, complicating his attempts to make coffee and organize the space. He plans to level the RV using stabilizer blocks despite feeling tired from withdrawal. The campsite is crowded with neighbors too close together, unlike his preferred previous location with more privacy and trees. He reflects on being dramatic as part of his gay identity and deciding not to worry about others' opinions of his behavior. The wind is strong enough to rock the RV and keep the cats inside despite the heat. He considers the stress on his camper from being unlevel and questions whether the solar equipment weight is problematic. Plans include grilling burgers and potentially playing PlayStation, though the unlevel surface makes sitting uncomfortable.

Apr 28, 2024 · 32% match
Free
5:37

Learning RV Leveling in Driveway Setup

The speaker documents their first experience setting up an RV in their sloped driveway. They explain the challenges of leveling the vehicle on an inclined surface, showing the leveling blocks they're using and discussing the need to order more equipment. **Brandon helped with initial positioning**, but subsequent adjustments created leveling issues. The speaker demonstrates their current setup with slides extended, pushing back some bushes for clearance. They experienced **motion sickness when the RV wasn't properly leveled** and are researching stabilizer techniques through YouTube videos. The speaker acknowledges this is a learning process and considers spending their first night in the RV, mentioning they would need to bring their cats who wouldn't tolerate being left behind.

Mar 9, 2024 · 31% match
Free
3:24

Explaining Liminal State and Process Normality

The speaker addresses their audience directly to explain their current psychological state, identifying themselves as being in a "liminal state" - a period of knowledge integration and life reassessment following four months of growth. They emphasize this is a normal process that involves discomfort and uncertainty as they evaluate what skills they've learned and decide future directions. The speaker anticipates that viewers might feel compelled to "fix" them and explicitly states there is nothing to fix, describing this as a natural part of their journey. They explain their motivation for sharing these experiences is to help others going through difficult periods understand that such states are normal and acceptable. A cat interrupts the recording, prompting brief commentary about the pet's behavior. The speaker concludes by warning against attempts to short-circuit the process through premature intervention.

Jul 18, 2024 · 30% match
Free
7:38

Organizing Office Space and Addressing Sleep Issues

The speaker is heading to Walmart to purchase organizational supplies for their office area to free up pantry space. They discuss ongoing sleep problems lasting three months, getting only 10 minutes of deep sleep the previous night despite sleeping almost 6 hours. They plan to remove their bed topper and try sleeping on just the mattress, as they prefer firm surfaces. The speaker mentions the cooler weather due to cloud cover and plans to paint their RV roof for future sun protection. They express interest in attending Burning Man next year after watching videos, though they're concerned about what to do with their dog Bailey since pets aren't allowed. They reflect on their YouTube channel's direction, noting they don't want to film during hiking because it interferes with connecting with nature and seeking solitude. They describe feeling restless and eager to leave their current location for Nevada, particularly northern Nevada, citing the sparse population and their need for controlled interactions and selective engagement. The speaker mentions needing dental work completed before they can leave and discusses challenges with manual transmission driving on hills and ongoing issues with RV stabilization despite using six stabilizers.

Jun 19, 2024 · 29% match
Free
6:16

Managing RV Tire Issues and Maintenance Challenges

rswfire discusses tire problems with his RV, including dual tire valve access issues and weight distribution concerns. The tire shop owner provided helpful guidance about valve extenders and proper air filling techniques. He plans to take the RV in on Monday for tire balancing and repairs. He continues downsizing possessions, including reluctantly discarding books, to make the slide-in/slide-out mechanism easier to operate. Despite his fear of heights, he acknowledges needing to inspect the roof for debris after recent rain and falling branches before driving on Monday. He took a half dose of Klonopin this morning after a period of not taking it, noting improved mood and wondering about dependency. He reflects on treating it like ibuprofen - only when needed. He has various errands planned including showers, going to Lexington, and getting gas.

Jul 25, 2024 · 29% match
Free
8:29

Processing Hypervigilance and Parental Trauma Patterns

The speaker reflects on living in an angled RV for a week, causing balance issues and sleep difficulties. He considers leveling the RV on Thursday to avoid weekend crowds. **Core focus shifts to processing childhood trauma** - specifically hypervigilance developed from constant analysis of his father's moods and judgment. He describes feeling inferior and unwanted, recognizing this as toxic conditioning that shaped him into something he wasn't meant to be. The speaker acknowledges his mother also failed to provide comfort, never hugging her children, contrary to his previous idealization of her as the "good parent." He connects his high sensitivity and cognitive differences to feeling damaged and broken throughout his life, rather than recognizing these as strengths. **Key insight emerges**: He now understands his parents were the problem, not him, though he recognizes the need for ongoing reprogramming. He also addresses societal conditioning around being gay that reinforced feelings of unworthiness. The speaker describes feeling perpetually separate from the world, using his YouTube avatar (person standing apart from Earth) as symbolic representation. **New self-awareness**: He recognizes his hypervigilance may have created cyclical patterns, causing his father to become more guarded in response, and potentially making it harder for his mother to show affection. While acknowledging his role in these dynamics, he maintains that as parents, they should have addressed these patterns regardless.

Jul 18, 2024 · 28% match
Free
5:29

Processing Withdrawal and Reassessing Life Transition

The speaker is driving through Tennessee on a 6-hour journey with one hour remaining. He reflects on the difficulty of leaving his empty house and seeing his mother, who had spent 2-3 days per week at his house with her own bedroom. He realizes he moved too fast in his life transition without considering what he was giving up. He outlines three decisions: signing up for BetterHelp therapy, continuing to work with his doctor through medication withdrawal (refusing to return to the medications), and staying in Kentucky longer than planned to remain near his mother. His cats are now with his mother. The speaker describes himself as a highly sensitive person (HSP) and INFJ personality type, explaining that he processes emotions openly without censoring himself. He experiences ongoing withdrawal symptoms, particularly his right arm becoming heavy at night, but believes the symptoms are improving. He expresses hope for finding an understanding audience who will accept him without trying to change him.

May 1, 2024 · 28% match
Free
3:24

Adapting Bailey's Outdoor System and Rejecting Compromise Language

The speaker describes how they adapted to allow their cat Bailey to spend time outdoors safely by using a carrier system. Bailey willingly enters the carrier when asked and appears content with the arrangement. The speaker reflects on their fatigue over recent days while enjoying the outdoor environment and view. The speaker then discusses their speech patterns, explaining how internal negotiation about word choice sometimes fragments their speech. They specifically describe resisting the word 'compromise' when talking about Bailey's carrier system, preferring to view it as synergistic, holistic, and integrated rather than fragmented. They emphasize their approach of changing things that don't work until finding solutions that do work, and reject the concept of compromise as a fragmented way of looking at life.

Sep 4, 2024 · 27% match
Free
5:35

Setting Up RV Interior During Medication Withdrawal

The speaker documents their first full day living in their RV after moving from their driveway to a campsite. They are experiencing withdrawal from Tramadol, an opiate pain medication they chose to discontinue because it's incompatible with mobile living. Despite physical discomfort, they focus on interior organization projects including installing LED lights across the ceiling, setting up charging stations, mounting cargo netting over the bed for storage, and planning shelving solutions. They express pride in learning to use tools and problem-solving space constraints. The speaker mentions needing to contact their RV dealership for schematics to understand wall structures before drilling. They discuss securing furniture and items for travel safety, noting they won't allow their cats (Bailey and Oliver) to roam while driving until everything is properly secured. The day is cold and rainy, keeping them inside to work on these projects.

Apr 17, 2024 · 27% match
Free
12:42

Claiming Public Space and Starting Coast Life

rswfire completes setup at a coastal location and reflects on claiming public space after a lifetime of being made to feel small. He hooks up his Jeep and prepares to move to a highway pull-off for his first night of boondocking. He discusses the progression from difficult tasks becoming second nature, referencing previous hiking at mountains and coastal areas that left his core muscles sore. He establishes his approach to public camping - being announced and present rather than stealth camping, planning to stay 1-2 nights per location until this lifestyle becomes comfortable, then heading north. He acknowledges practical challenges including poor batteries, lights that won't turn off due to a malfunctioning weather-damaged controller, and concerns about weatherproofing. rswfire frames this as finding his new edge for growth, explaining his pattern of always seeking the next challenge. At his coastal spot, he notes road noise and a strange frequency sound from passing cars. He expresses surprise at how his morning nervousness disappeared completely once positioned. The transmission includes extended reflection on his approach to holding space for contradictions and complexity, contrasting this with others' tendency to fragment and dissect experiences into smaller containers. He observes birds in the wind as an example of being one with conditions rather than fighting them.

Nov 26, 2024 · 27% match
Free
5:18

Returning Home After Trip, Seeking Total Solitude

rswfire returns to his RV campsite after a trip, accompanied by Bailey (his dog) who cried during the entire drive back, likely due to vibrations in the Jeep. He reflects on his original goal of achieving total solitude through RV living, which hasn't been realized due to crowded campgrounds. He consulted Claude (AI) for advice on finding true solitude and received multiple options to research. Upon returning, he notices fewer campers than expected for a Saturday, reminiscent of the quieter camping conditions from April-May before summer crowds arrived. The RV feels like home despite being messy, but new campers have appeared directly next to his site. He plans to continue downsizing possessions to make the space more functional and acknowledges he needs to improve his mechanical skills. A recent break and hike reinforced his sense of resilience.

Aug 3, 2024 · 27% match
Free
3:05

Managing Core Muscle Injury and Financial Deferral

rswfire reports severe core muscle soreness requiring him to wear pajamas to the grocery store due to inability to handle any constriction. He purchased hamburger meat for protein to support his recovery, paying with change. He successfully arranged a payment deferral with the RV financing company for two months of missed payments, with the next payment due in 2-3 days but will be a couple weeks late without reaching 30 days delinquent. He plans to remain in bed resting, playing video games and waiting for his boss to give work approval. He discusses an intuitive belief that the universe meets him halfway, which persisted after shedding religious beliefs in his 30s. He shares new insights about core muscles controlling autonomic functions like breathing and digestion, comparing their importance to brain and heart. He plans to focus on recovery rather than exploring the ocean.

Dec 4, 2024 · 26% match
Free
7:00

Managing RV Living Challenges and Dental Work

The speaker reflects on feeling restless after two weeks in the same location but needing to stay for two more months to complete dental work. They describe a busy day that included doing laundry (which they disliked due to crowds), shopping for chili ingredients and rugs, and dealing with new dentures that are causing gum pain. The speaker discusses various RV living challenges including a bed they hate, leveling issues, contact lens problems from a prescription mix-up, and concerns about heat affecting their cat Bailey. They express frustration with weather prediction accuracy and their desire to move to a different campsite. The transmission includes interactions with Bailey the cat, who no longer wants to go outside. The speaker plans to level the RV and make chili, acknowledging they're in a complaining mood but will work through the practical issues.

Jun 12, 2024 · 26% match
Free
4:48

Organizing RV Interior and Planning Tank Maintenance

The speaker shows progress organizing their RV interior, having acquired new dressers to store clothes and reduce floor clutter. They discuss ongoing challenges with their kitten Luna's litter box training - she's using pads for urination but not consistently using the litter box for defecation. The speaker outlines upcoming tasks including roof maintenance on Thursday to clear debris from trees, emptying tanks, and getting tires inspected on Friday. They mention being at their current location for nearly 90 days and needing to leave next week, expressing that staying in one place too long doesn't suit their preferred lifestyle. The speaker wants to bring more items from storage once the interior organization is complete and move towing equipment from their Jeep to the storage bay.

Aug 14, 2024 · 26% match
Free
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