Melancholy.

Luna's Journey: From Stray to Loved - A Kitten Rescue Story

Evening Ocean Walk with Wendy

rswfire walks to the ocean at dusk with his friend Wendy. They observe the approaching nighttime, cloudy sky, and a sliver moon. The ocean has mist and fog on the horizon. They encounter a creek that's too high to cross and need to turn back. rswfire notes they are about a mile out and brought a flashlight for the return hike in darkness. He describes Wendy as a close friend and hiking buddy who will be moving south for the winter to Horseville Beach. The area has bears, mountain lions, and foxes. rswfire mentions this is his first time hiking out to the beach at night rather than driving to a spot.

At the Edge of Power: Cape Blanco's Sustained Fury! 🍃

New Year Ocean Walk Greeting

rswfire walks in darkness beside the ocean, offering a brief new year greeting. The transmission captures a moment of movement along the coastline with background music and laughter, expressing hope for the coming year 2026.

Storm Watching and Gaming Setup in RV

rswfire observes an approaching storm from his RV, noting how quickly weather spreads and testing his stabilizers against wind movement. He transitions to discussing his gaming setup, explaining he hasn't played video games in six months but feels ready to return to this activity with intentionality. **RV modifications** include bedroom improvements, bed platform fixes, and plans for wall insulation. He shows his Alienware laptop with RTX 4080 graphics card going through firmware updates and discusses external hard drive organization for mobile gaming. **Gaming preparation** involves setting up Steam games on external drives and configuring his Plex server for entertainment. He reflects on **audience criticism** regarding his RGB lighting and teddy bears, stating he turns off comments to avoid negativity. **Philosophical observations** include diminished faith in humanity's capacity for growth and preparation, referencing six months of teaching collapse preparation that viewers misunderstood. The transmission concludes with him launching Final Fantasy 16, praising Creative Studio 3's visual design and emotional storytelling while preparing to play during the expected storm.

Dance like no one is watching.

Embodiment.

Analyzing Four Institutional Authority Figures

rswfire provides detailed character assessments of four institutional figures encountered in what appears to be a park or federal land context. He describes a park manager as an abusive bully who punishes people for cover and cannot handle being confronted with truth. A park supervisor is characterized as calculating and manipulative, working through others and targeting individuals without forgiveness. A ranger is described as split between integrity and containment, abandoning principles when pressured. An executive is portrayed as someone who sees truth but denies it to protect the institution, willing to destroy individuals without remorse. rswfire concludes that he served as a mirror to these individuals, reflecting their true nature back to them, which they could not tolerate, resulting in his removal from the situation.

Coastal Wandering and Sovereign Connection Longing

The speaker describes their current state as a mobile, sovereign being living in an RV along the Pacific coast. They characterize themselves as moving along cliff edges and waking with lighthouses, carrying storms metaphorically while seeking another sovereign partner. The transmission outlines their relationship with coastal environments, their mobile sanctuary, and their desire for a companion who would understand their nature rather than try to change it. They express comfort with darkness and uncertainty while maintaining their wandering lifestyle along unmarked coastal areas.

RV Controller Failure and Cape Walk

rswfire discovers that external lights on his RV have been stuck on for a week due to a failed brake controller that was improperly installed outside where it got wet from Oregon coast weather. He identifies this as a known issue with his RV model requiring a $20 part replacement, expressing frustration with the RV industry's poor design practices. After investigating the problem, he takes a walk to the cape to process his anger. During the walk, he encounters mosquitoes that appeared after a recent storm and receives a text from someone he calls 'the little Cape dweller' who claims not to be thinking about him. rswfire deletes the message, stating the person violated his trust during an intimate moment and refuses to take responsibility. He ends at the oldest lighthouse in Oregon, which currently has a broken motor, comparing it to himself as a 'void penetrating device' that shoots beams into the ocean.

Observing Isolated Donkey Reveals Cosmic Loneliness

rswfire describes a month-long pattern of observing a solitary donkey while driving to a hiking trail. **The donkey consistently positioned itself in the same spot by a fence near the road**, appearing sad and seeking interaction. This observation triggered deep emotional responses and cumulative sadness in the speaker. rswfire considered various interventions including calling Animal Welfare but dismissed these options, anticipating they would be ineffective. **The speaker ultimately contemplated avoiding the hiking trail entirely** to escape the emotional burden of witnessing the donkey's apparent isolation. The transmission uses this donkey observation as an analogy for the speaker's own existential condition. rswfire describes feeling **cosmically alone** and claims to perceive the world in ways others do not. The speaker references a discussion with AI about how others might perceive the same situation, concluding that most people would not notice or care about the donkey's condition. The transmission includes a brief interruption where rswfire deals with a spider descending from the ceiling. The speaker also references taking in Luna (presumably a pet) as another example of their unique perceptual sensitivity.

Walking to Ocean Through Oregon Dunes

rswfire takes a walk to the ocean after a 12-hour day, describing it as a week of controlled chaos. He walks through Siltcoos dunes on the Oregon coast, noting the area is empty except for him. The walk involves climbing a steep dune to reach the ocean. He describes the terrain - ATVs go to the right, hiking trail and river to the left. Upon reaching the ocean, he greets it directly and walks along the waves toward a river, commenting on the wave patterns. Throughout the walk, he makes repeated vocalizations of 'heat' and mentions few footprints from other visitors that day.

Testing Fear Response at Cliff Edge

rswfire visits a coastal cliff location, filming the ocean, lighthouse, and surrounding landscape. He shares a story about initially being afraid of the cliff edge due to experiencing 'call of the void' - an intrusive thought about jumping. He explains how he researched this phenomenon, learned it's a French concept that most humans experience but don't discuss, and then systematically exposed himself to the cliff daily to overcome the fear through building self-trust. He describes how his brain constantly scans for safety and creates tension when losing situational awareness. The transmission includes interactions with people and a dog visible far below on the beach, with rswfire waving and observing them through his camera's zoom function.

Chill Day

Rejecting Responsibility for Others' Understanding

The speaker woke at 2 AM with a realization about communication patterns. He describes a longstanding practice of **downshifting gears** to accommodate others' comprehension levels, explaining that he has always put the burden of being understood on himself. He states that he can downshift to meet others where they are, but they cannot upshift to his level. The speaker declares he is **done** with this pattern and will no longer take responsibility for others' failure to understand him. He concludes that if people want to understand him, they will need to work for it themselves.

Final Ocean Visit Before Departure

rswfire makes a final visit to the ocean at 8 AM before departing a coastal location. He observes fog covering the landscape and reflects on discovering tide pools during his stay. The ocean shows more power than previous days, which he had been requesting. He processes thoughts about societal collapse and questions whether escaping to the forest is the life he wants. A Trump supporter caravan drove through the campground the previous day while he was distributing rubber ducks on Jeeps, reinforcing his observations about societal fragmentation. He concludes that if he's going to die, it would be by the ocean rather than hiding in the forest.

Standing on Coastal Cliff Reflecting on Beauty

rswfire stands on a coastal cliff on a peaceful, warm day with minimal wind and no visible sun. He observes the high tide and mentions a mountain in the background that he loves and plans to visit again. He reflects on someone who is 'acting small' and capable of more, expressing hope to be a catalyst for their growth while acknowledging it doesn't appear likely. He describes the challenge of standing on the cliff edge due to the significant drop, calling it 'the call of the void,' but emphasizes doing it anyway to demonstrate self-trust. He shares a story about observing people in a parking lot during a previous visit, realizing they are what he calls 'parking lot people' - those afraid to live and acknowledge the edge.

4AM Field Holding Realization

At 4:00 AM, rswfire experiences a moment of clarity about the necessity of his past experiences in preparing him to hold his field. He reflects on the dying state of institutions and individuals, emphasizing that each person will need to learn to hold their own field as systems disintegrate. He positions this understanding as foundational to what others will witness from him going forward.

Navigating Solitude: A Silent Journey Through Systems of Self

Recording at 1 AM About Collapse and Connection

rswfire records a video transmission at nearly 1:00 AM after waking from a nap. He states his intention to speak plainly about what he sees and knows in the deepest part of his being. He declares that the world is collapsing and describes accepting this hard truth after initially struggling with it. He details his vision of collapse: violence, suffering, death, complete system breakdown, societal fracturing, community dissolution, and conflict between systems of control and those with nothing. He expresses sorrow at having to witness this, especially knowing it didn't have to happen but people wouldn't wake up. Despite this, he maintains hope that something better might emerge from the ruins and describes his core identity as having a childlike desire for connection. He reports recording videos for over a year, reaching out and receiving only static in return, plus resistance from people he characterizes as too small to see their smallness and lacking integrity and ethics. He describes his current situation: living in an RV on the coast at the edge of the continent, 4 days from being homeless due to lack of money to move to another campground. He expresses uncertainty about navigation but confidence he will manage it because he trusts himself completely, citing a lifetime of proven navigation through situations. He expresses righteous anger about people still sleepwalking when no one is prepared for collapse and systems are on the edge. He concludes with a direct challenge asking if people will wake up and join him or disintegrate with everything else.

Waiting at Vet with Luna for Blood Test

rswfire brings Luna, a young female tortoiseshell kitten, to a veterinary appointment for blood work and health assessment. Luna had been awake since 4 AM, vocalizing and wanting out of confinement. At the vet clinic, they wait for the veterinarian who was delayed by an emergency call to see cows. During the wait, rswfire observes Luna's behavior and recovery progress. The kitten shows signs of improvement - eating well, being active, and displaying what rswfire calls "tortitude" (tortoiseshell attitude). Luna had previously been anemic and went through health difficulties, but appears to be recovering. rswfire keeps Luna contained in a carrier during the wait, despite her attempts to escape and explore. The speaker reflects on Luna's growth trajectory, estimating she's 3-4 months old and will reach adolescent size in about 6 months. rswfire mentions not having had a female cat since childhood, decades ago.

Early Morning Hike Preparation at Mountain Cabin

rswfire wakes at 3 AM in a mountain cabin, unable to sleep despite changing locations from his RV. He realizes his sleep issues are related to his current life stage rather than his living situation. He prepares breakfast (eggs, toast, ham, coffee) while discussing an upcoming challenging mountain trail hike in expected rainy and stormy weather. He expresses nervousness about hiking a difficult, poorly marked trail he hasn't been on in approximately 10 years, acknowledging weather awareness developed since living in his RV. The transmission shows him cooking breakfast, preparing for the day, and heading toward the trailhead with his dog Bailey to wait for sunrise at a lodge near Natural Bridge.

Caring for Sick Kitten Luna

The speaker documents caring for a sick kitten named Luna who is confined to a recovery area. Luna is being given unflavored children's Pedialyte every 3-4 hours (2 CCs) and has been eating well but not using the litter box. The speaker maintains a log of Luna's eating and bowel movements. Luna is described as talkative, purring, and showing signs of improvement but still needs veterinary evaluation before being allowed out of confinement. The speaker attempts to engage Luna with a toy alien but she shows no interest in playing yet. The recording spans from evening care to early morning (5:30 AM) check-in, with Luna having eaten significantly and defecated twice overnight. Another animal named Bailey is also present in the environment.